When the cards are on the table

All was going well for me when Friday turned into a day of self reflection. Someone had the nerve to call me selfish. ME??? SELFISH??? Well that was the initial reaction till this person said something that I've heard before in my life, " You always want things your way." Alarm bells instantly started ringing in my ears. Usually I would disregard such a statement but the source is really someone who's relevance in my life is unmeasurable. Coming from her I had to consider that it might just be true. So I went forth and called anyone I could remember having hinted to that fact of my character. Most of them were people who are close to me, dear friends, ex-lovers and so forth. Like this little argument had me really bummed. I never get bummed bout what people think of me. But like I said this person is different. I realized the only way I would find out if this analogy was 100% accurate was if I asked the one person who should truly know me, considering that she was in contact with me 24/7 for close to two years of my recent life. I must admit I had hoped she would lie to me for she has always tried her best to protect me from the truth... so much for that theory. "a lil bit." was the answer I got. Gathering she was trying to protect me, that probably meant "OH YEAH!!!" With that I lashed out at the perfectly innocent person who was just being honest with me, and resolved to sulk. Her answer had made the count six out of six. I am selfish. But that was according to them.

So I resorted to take it to the pub in search of that ever notorious moment of clarity. It was karaoke night and on the list of songs was an old favorite. Aint To Proud To Beg- The Temptations. Six beers worth of dutch courage i took to the stage and presumed to bring the roof down. Something about a black man with an afro singing soul music that just gets to women in a good way. Once again I was ontop of the world. Then the moment of clarity hit me, right there on stage I realised.... I am a selfish little prick. Well not so little. Right there on stage, I realised that I have a zero compromise policy in motion in my life. My way or the highway.

Guess its back to the drawing board. Now that I know the problem, I need to find the solution... Wish me luck.