All was going well for me when Friday turned into a day of self reflection. Someone had the nerve to call me selfish. ME??? SELFISH??? Well that was the initial reaction till this person said something that I've heard before in my life, " You always want things your way." Alarm bells instantly started ringing in my ears. Usually I would disregard such a statement but the source is really someone who's relevance in my life is unmeasurable. Coming from her I had to consider that it might just be true. So I went forth and called anyone I could remember having hinted to that fact of my character. Most of them were people who are close to me, dear friends, ex-lovers and so forth. Like this little argument had me really bummed. I never get bummed bout what people think of me. But like I said this person is different. I realized the only way I would find out if this analogy was 100% accurate was if I asked the one person who should truly know me, considering that she was in contact with me 24/7 for close to two years of my recent life. I must admit I had hoped she would lie to me for she has always tried her best to protect me from the truth... so much for that theory. "a lil bit." was the answer I got. Gathering she was trying to protect me, that probably meant "OH YEAH!!!" With that I lashed out at the perfectly innocent person who was just being honest with me, and resolved to sulk. Her answer had made the count six out of six. I am selfish. But that was according to them.
So I resorted to take it to the pub in search of that ever notorious moment of clarity. It was karaoke night and on the list of songs was an old favorite. Aint To Proud To Beg- The Temptations. Six beers worth of dutch courage i took to the stage and presumed to bring the roof down. Something about a black man with an afro singing soul music that just gets to women in a good way. Once again I was ontop of the world. Then the moment of clarity hit me, right there on stage I realised.... I am a selfish little prick. Well not so little. Right there on stage, I realised that I have a zero compromise policy in motion in my life. My way or the highway.
Guess its back to the drawing board. Now that I know the problem, I need to find the solution... Wish me luck.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
I can't See A Rainbow, can't see a rainbow now...
My apologizes for missing out last Friday, had fun things to do. But I'm back now. Its been an interesting three months for me I must say. I'm now 're-discovering myself' as it were. I'm currently in Durban right now. Its been a hot and cold move. Real hot but real cold at times so the two cancel each other out making it alright.
But what I found most interesting is that I have a 14 year old neighbor who's basically a pot head. Boy smokes weed everyday, at 14? That's like premature inhalation right there. To make it worse the child in him comes out every time he gets high. Came by my place the other day blown senseless giggling and stuff with his best friend (another pot head of 17 years of age who started at 16 but taught the 14 year old at 13.) They say choose yours friends wisely but they never mention that we don't get to choose...
I digress. As I was saying, this boy comes to my spot blown and proceeds to play chikudo (monkey games) with his friend chasing each other around and shit, only to smash right through my door. Came out of my room to find my door shattered into little pieces. If you watch South Park you should be remembering what Mr. Mckay would say right now... "MMMDrugs are bad kids. Don't do drugs." The 14 year old is indian and his friend white, now they obviously watch too much TV cause I'm now like their gansta black guy, who's house is the chill pad after school. Like I could easily tell these guys that we some kinda gang and we should start robbing people and as high as they usually are that would sound like a really great idea. They've already asked me if I rap? Like jeez MTV has power man, talk about stereotyping... lol
America and South Africa are one in the same I tell you. People actually live in little bubbles and can't imagine a world bigger then their own borders actually having tared roads... I'm at the edge of my seat here, fully expanded and ready to blow up and educate these people. never thought I'd actually misss Botswana. But I do.
Got a new aquaintance, real sweet girl, great mind and really intelligent. She is a white South African. We in the same class and often debate about issues and such, but it seems that to her everywhere where black people in South Africa have moved in and or have become the dominant population is dirty. The beach is now dirty, the universities are now dirty too. Her statements are completely innocent and ring true on many levels. All I know is this place has a long way to go till it really is a rainbow nation, cause as it is the colours aren'ton this rainbow are pretty disjointed and pointing fingers at everyone else. So I asked her, if she realised that the "dirt" was as a result of the fact that during apartheid the black people were stacked in reserves (locations) with poor basic services and that dirt to them was part of life and suddenly they have to handle the countries outlook you can expect standards to fall. The conversation ended abruptly and we began to talk about ice cream.
Can't wait for 2010
But what I found most interesting is that I have a 14 year old neighbor who's basically a pot head. Boy smokes weed everyday, at 14? That's like premature inhalation right there. To make it worse the child in him comes out every time he gets high. Came by my place the other day blown senseless giggling and stuff with his best friend (another pot head of 17 years of age who started at 16 but taught the 14 year old at 13.) They say choose yours friends wisely but they never mention that we don't get to choose...
I digress. As I was saying, this boy comes to my spot blown and proceeds to play chikudo (monkey games) with his friend chasing each other around and shit, only to smash right through my door. Came out of my room to find my door shattered into little pieces. If you watch South Park you should be remembering what Mr. Mckay would say right now... "MMMDrugs are bad kids. Don't do drugs." The 14 year old is indian and his friend white, now they obviously watch too much TV cause I'm now like their gansta black guy, who's house is the chill pad after school. Like I could easily tell these guys that we some kinda gang and we should start robbing people and as high as they usually are that would sound like a really great idea. They've already asked me if I rap? Like jeez MTV has power man, talk about stereotyping... lol
America and South Africa are one in the same I tell you. People actually live in little bubbles and can't imagine a world bigger then their own borders actually having tared roads... I'm at the edge of my seat here, fully expanded and ready to blow up and educate these people. never thought I'd actually misss Botswana. But I do.
Got a new aquaintance, real sweet girl, great mind and really intelligent. She is a white South African. We in the same class and often debate about issues and such, but it seems that to her everywhere where black people in South Africa have moved in and or have become the dominant population is dirty. The beach is now dirty, the universities are now dirty too. Her statements are completely innocent and ring true on many levels. All I know is this place has a long way to go till it really is a rainbow nation, cause as it is the colours aren'ton this rainbow are pretty disjointed and pointing fingers at everyone else. So I asked her, if she realised that the "dirt" was as a result of the fact that during apartheid the black people were stacked in reserves (locations) with poor basic services and that dirt to them was part of life and suddenly they have to handle the countries outlook you can expect standards to fall. The conversation ended abruptly and we began to talk about ice cream.
Can't wait for 2010
Cool name dude...?
So I came to the realization that I never did explain the reason why I entitled this blog "Sitting While Standing." I would assume it was obvious but since so many people are curious i might as well explain. I named that cause it sounds good... simple as that. Not to mention the fact that I can't help but notice that my age contemporaries spend a lot of valuable time trying their hard earned best to do the impossible. Hence, sitting while standing. So much time and effort spent trying to be other then they really are and more so do the impossible.
For example, 19 year olds running around buying bling, dolling themselves up in the latest designer wear and doing doughnuts in their daddy's Benz all so that they can be like the stars they see on TV and the little brats don't even got a bank account. Women wearing high heels and stiletos to class all day, buying large amounts of make up and applying the same quantity trying, once again to be like the women in the magazines. People, take it from me, I know whats invovled in television production and magazines...aint no way in hell any of us will ever look like those people on a daily basis. I can make a 60kg woman loose 20kg with the stroke of my mouse, redefine your hairline and make anyone look ten years younger. Heck I can turn Wesley Snipes into a whiteperson if I got that bored as to even try it. As for the lifestyles the "stars" live. In order to sell you have to look like someone worth buying. Record labels put a lot of time and effort and money making sure that happens. But the reality is far from the Television screen.
So don't bother trying more then you feel comfortable with trying to compensate for what god gave you. You might as well attempt "Sitting while Standing." Chances of success are the same, and frankly you'll be just as tired at the end of it.
For example, 19 year olds running around buying bling, dolling themselves up in the latest designer wear and doing doughnuts in their daddy's Benz all so that they can be like the stars they see on TV and the little brats don't even got a bank account. Women wearing high heels and stiletos to class all day, buying large amounts of make up and applying the same quantity trying, once again to be like the women in the magazines. People, take it from me, I know whats invovled in television production and magazines...aint no way in hell any of us will ever look like those people on a daily basis. I can make a 60kg woman loose 20kg with the stroke of my mouse, redefine your hairline and make anyone look ten years younger. Heck I can turn Wesley Snipes into a whiteperson if I got that bored as to even try it. As for the lifestyles the "stars" live. In order to sell you have to look like someone worth buying. Record labels put a lot of time and effort and money making sure that happens. But the reality is far from the Television screen.
So don't bother trying more then you feel comfortable with trying to compensate for what god gave you. You might as well attempt "Sitting while Standing." Chances of success are the same, and frankly you'll be just as tired at the end of it.
Friday, October 9, 2009
I wonder if they got silicon abs?
I don't really watch television much but I was watching this show the other day, called "Skin Deep" or something like that. There was this 16 year old girl with insecurity issues bout the cellulite on her ass and how small her tits were. Alrighty then... moving on, TV being TV this show offers to help this young misguided lady who didn't look half bad in a bikini, and they offer to pay for the breast enhancement, technical term for fake boobs, and they will also pay for the lipo. Guess waiting till she was 20 and naturally shedding of the baby fat was more then she could handle huh. Never mind the multiple risks involved with the operation.
So I got to thinking... what if men had the mentality of women? Cause almost all women would jump at an opportunity to modify their bodies regardless of how hot she may be.
Like I wonder if they do bicep implants nowadays. Then I wouldn't have to go to the gym. And that money I've been saving up to start my company, I could use that to get my abs done too. Can I get my voice box tweaked to sound like Barry White? And get my hair tinted with grey coz I heard older men are very attractive...lol Kiss my ass.( Could do with some botox there too. hahaha)
Like seriously whats the point of all this insanity. Join a gym! Its cheaper. And as for getting bigger breast or turning your ass into a J Lo carbon copy... heish. No one's perfect.
I have to say all these cosmetic enhancements' popularity are a result of the "ho" persona now required of women in order for a woman to be seen as sexy or independent. Don't tell me you doing it for you and your self-esteem. A new wardrobe can fix that easy. Its so that men admire you and that results in higher self-esteem.
Well yall do your thing... yall will get to be single and hot for the rest of your youth, which lasts till about 35 years old anyway, and you can watch all the cellulite women get married off and live happily ever after. Well as happy as one can be on this planet. But that's something else....
So I got to thinking... what if men had the mentality of women? Cause almost all women would jump at an opportunity to modify their bodies regardless of how hot she may be.
Like I wonder if they do bicep implants nowadays. Then I wouldn't have to go to the gym. And that money I've been saving up to start my company, I could use that to get my abs done too. Can I get my voice box tweaked to sound like Barry White? And get my hair tinted with grey coz I heard older men are very attractive...lol Kiss my ass.( Could do with some botox there too. hahaha)
Like seriously whats the point of all this insanity. Join a gym! Its cheaper. And as for getting bigger breast or turning your ass into a J Lo carbon copy... heish. No one's perfect.
I have to say all these cosmetic enhancements' popularity are a result of the "ho" persona now required of women in order for a woman to be seen as sexy or independent. Don't tell me you doing it for you and your self-esteem. A new wardrobe can fix that easy. Its so that men admire you and that results in higher self-esteem.
Well yall do your thing... yall will get to be single and hot for the rest of your youth, which lasts till about 35 years old anyway, and you can watch all the cellulite women get married off and live happily ever after. Well as happy as one can be on this planet. But that's something else....
"Maxwell Silver Hammer came down on his head..."
Welcome to "Sitting While Standing..."
Always wanted to write a blog and share ideas and the rest of that kinda stuff. Finally received the inspiration to do it when a close friend took the reigns and started her own blog. So why not start my own i say... Thank you, you know who you are.
Every day of my life something or someone happens to me. It's not always a big thing worth world wide coverage but it is big enough to get me asking questions, and some of the time answering them. And that is what I'm going to try and share with you. It could be political, it could be just a little life issue. It could be anything i choose it to be about hence the warning screen before you enter the blog.
Oh ya, and I'll try and keep it short. Long is boring... have fun.
Always wanted to write a blog and share ideas and the rest of that kinda stuff. Finally received the inspiration to do it when a close friend took the reigns and started her own blog. So why not start my own i say... Thank you, you know who you are.
Every day of my life something or someone happens to me. It's not always a big thing worth world wide coverage but it is big enough to get me asking questions, and some of the time answering them. And that is what I'm going to try and share with you. It could be political, it could be just a little life issue. It could be anything i choose it to be about hence the warning screen before you enter the blog.
Oh ya, and I'll try and keep it short. Long is boring... have fun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
